Giving off the WRONG vibe

Greetings from the Minneapolis/St Paul airport! I've survived the major leg of my trans-Atlantic air travels. Only a 3 hour flight on a frighteningly small airplane separates me from that adorable smile I've been talking about for weeks. As I sit at the gate and wait for my flight to board, I thought I'd see if I can't get a little feedback from those of you who know me best. It would seem, based on a trip to the mall earlier this week, that I am most certainly not portraying the image I always thought I was.

Knowing that my niece is particularly fond of my mom who will also be visiting me in Austin this weekend, I decided to head to the mall to pick up a few toys that I might use as bribery should she start to think she'd rather hang out with grandma that with her favorite aunt. As I wandered, I was approached not once, but twice, by two different guys who were trying to coax me over to their mid-mall kiosk. Now, I know what you're probably thinking: "Oh, I hate those obnoxious guys who are always trying to tell women all about their amazing hair/skin products." Well, I agree, I hate those guys too, but these particular fellas were not selling beauty products of any kind. Instead, they thought that I might be interested in signing up for a little paint ball action. Paint ball!? Seriously?? What about me screams, "Now there's a paint baller if I've ever seen one!" I don't get it.

After successfully dodging all attempts to sell me some paint ball sessions, I decided I had earned myself one of those fantastic mall cookies - chocolate chip, of course. So, I purchased my cookie, ditched the wrapper, and continued on my way through the mall. I was pretty oblivious to my surroundings because I was so focused on stuffing my face with cookie, but I was quickly snapped out of my sugar daze when I realize that another mall kiosk operator was shouting at me. This time, as I stood there mid-bite with a half eaten cookie in my hand I hear, "Ice cream? Ma'am, can I interest you in some ice cream?" Ice cream!? Seriously?? Do I look like that much of a pig that I couldn't possibly even wait to finish my cookie before I got myself a couple of scoops?

So here's what I want to know friends, what am I doing wrong? Why is it that I'm coming across as a tomboy, paint-firing, face stuffin' ruffian?